24% SEVERELY ADDICTED to Instant Messenger. How about you?
i think that thing lies... or i did when i was answering the questions... *shrugz* whatever. i'm addicted. i kno. it's sad that some people trip when i'm not online and then call me up to see if everything's okay and that i'm not lying in a ditch or something. thas sad huh? hehe... well, that's my life. =P
wednesday was interesting... a bad driving day for me... i hurt my baby! my poor car... it has a scrape on the front bumper now... don't ask... but it's not that bad. i'll get it fixed soon. then my baby will be all pretty again. =] and yea, on the freeway, i went a lil crazy... sucks for me... but i'm alive. that's all that matters. and i didn't hurt anyone or anything except my pride. well, that was my last day of school until the 9th. wOo WoO! =]
thursday, yesterday, i jus stayed home pretty much... didn't really do anythin interesting. i did go see resident evil wit eric and his friend dominic. that was pretty coo... the movie was alrite. i liked the action stuff... hehe... then we picked up some burger king, and off home i went.
friday, today, i really did stay home the whole day. i stayed home in my pajamas... muahahaha... except when i took my shower, of course. 2 people called me like at 9... that sucked... i couldn't go back to sleep! bastardos... lol... it's alrite... my responses to them were like "eh", "yea", *mumble*... lol... so excuse me for being half asleep! yea, i didn't go out at all today cuz everyone that i would normally kick it wit had their own plans, i guess? oh well, i had my own drama formulated in my own head... heh... thinking doesn't do me any good! i spent the whole day pretty much tryin to watch training day... hehe... it's an okay movie... i don't understand how denzel washington got an oscar for that... but whatever. he was good, i suppose. *shrugz*
well, let the search for a prom date continue... i'm not to the point of desperation yet... but what sux is that the one that i want to go with the most is the one that i can't really have, i guess... blah... whatever... we'll see... it's senior prom, so i have to go... i've got a lil over a month... so let my search continue... =\
"say that you don't care, and i'll walk away. say you don't give a damn, and i won't stay. but if u feel the same way that i feel, boi u gotta show it cuz boi i wanna know it." - say that (you don't care) by drop n harmony
3.29.2002
uMm... not much to say tonight... so actually, i'll jus post some stuff tomorrow hoping that something happens or i think of something... hehe... smile for me! it'll help me smile. =]
3.25.2002
dammit dammit dammit... why do i go back and forth on this subject??? i don't kno what i want anymore... well, in some way i do... *shrugz* but damn, there's nothing that hurts more than thinking/feeling that someone that u really really like or even love has moved on... fack! why do i even post this up here?!? yea yea, cuz i'm too chicken shiat to say it in person... so yep, another desperate attempt for attention... i don't like myself on these days...
3.24.2002
i gotta learn to forget... i gotta learn to not love anymore... love jus hurts... love jus ends up breaking me... why do i bother? why do i long for days i can't have back? i'm gonna give up on love cuz it jus ends up in me getting hurt... *sigh* gnite world... i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep again... desperate attempt for attention? maybe. at least, i'm honest about it.
3.23.2002
gRr... so yea, tell me how this makes sense... i couldn't find anyone to go to breakdown with me, but almost everyone i know went? yea, do now i'm pissed at the world cuz i really wanted to go... dammit... blah blah blah... i must find something to get my mind off of it... so i'll tell you about what's been goin recently.
yesterday was alrite... it was my first day driving to school. it rocked! hahaha... i really love that i don't have to wait for anyone anymore and that i really am more independent! hehehe... but i gotta be careful. =] after school, i went wherever i felt like at the moment... hehe... it was great. then i got home and jus watched some tv. talked wit my friend bout some stuff... then my other friend called cuz he jus got into a fight wit his dad and didn't wanna go home for a lil bit. i ended up spending time wit him and my mom jus choppin it up, then goin to dinner. i was also kinda plannin on goin to sheena's bday dinner, but i couldn't make it... argh, i felt hella bad, but i did go visit for like a second to drop off my card... *sigh* so many things that i wanted to do, but didn't... sux. today, me and my other friend had planned to go shoppin down on haight at around 11, but he couldn't wake up... so yea, that didn't go, but then he wanted to go to his friend's lil sister's bday/reunion thing. so i was down, and i got ready. he lagged forever and a day. so i gave up on him and jus did random crap with my mom. jeyel called. wanted to go to the movies or something. silvio and him picked me up. off we went to the metreon. we were there for like 10 minutes or something and decided not to watch a movie. oh well... we went the mall downtown instead. walked around a bit then moved on to stonestown. stonestown was alrite. saw some people i'd rather not see in my life again. after that, we headed to my house. they kicked it here for a lil bit before goin on their way. silvio's sleepin over jeyel's house, and jey's havin some party or somethin... nothin really, jus people chillin... yep, and here i am, at home... bored out of my mind... grr... sux? yes, very much. another weekend down the drain. hopefully my spring break doesn't suck.
muahahahaha!!! i jus saw a guy riding one of those mini bikes... lol!!! that was great... k, the end.
3.21.2002
well, went back to school today... no, i didn't drive cuz i don't have insurance under my name yet... so yea, hopefully tomorrow or next week. i wonder what i'm gonna do tomorrow... a lot of people wanna do something, but i don't kno who to pick. none of the choices are really jumpin out at me. maybe i'll jus end up goin to breakdown. but that's not until 6, so iono what i'll be doing until then. anyway, school is the same. boring and uninteresting, but i get my kicks i guess. i'd rather be there than on the streets or something. =] i've been a more positive person recently especially at school. i've decided that i might as well be nice to that one girl that i hated for a long time. jus let things go since i probably won't be seeing much of her after june. college. whoa, i've got less than 3 months left as a high school student. crazy sh*t. haha... then i'll be a licensed college student. oh man. next thing u kno, i'll be 18! ahhH!! lol. where am i gonna go? i don't really know right now. i go between staying close to home and going away. there really is something holding me back, though i'm not quite sure what/who it is yet. my choices right now are uci, ucsd, sfsu, sdsu, and scu (santa clara u). i'm pretty much thinkin bout scu and uci, but i'm gonna probably look into the comp sci department at ucsd. i'm still waiting for the actual envelopes from the schools. =] happy me for getting in tho. dang, my mom is paying this couple to video my graduation/reception. hella money too! omg! and they're gonna make it all professional with picture flashbacks and ish. hahaha... yea, my mom's cheesy. but oh well, jus gotta convince my friends to not be camera shy that day. and hey, if u have songs that u think would be coo to add to the soundtrack, tell me bout it! e-mail me or something! hehe...anywho, i'm done for this entry. byebyee
3.20.2002
if i had a wish, my wish would be this
that you'd be here with me
but that's a fool's fantasy
cuz while i'm singing this song,
you're laying right there in hhe arms
in your eyes i'm the past, but i'm left here to ask
do we have a chance for our love?
think back in your mind when we made love that fist time
you had never been touched and we loved each other so much
so many thankful memories that i carry you in me
reminding me of what's gone with no hope to go on
so tell me..
do we have a chance for our love?
i wanna know boy
boy, i love you, i love you, but do you care
everyday, night and day i pray
boy, i love you, i love you, but do you care
god knows, i tried to make you feel the way i do
what more can i ask? what more can i ask for?
i tried to make you feel the way i do
3.15.2002
so yea, after that episode with my mom... my night jus went downhill from there... chris got mad or something and jus yea brushed me off... then signed off all in a quickness... iono... hurt? yup. then when i turn to two of my friends for some help... one of them hella gets on my case and whatever... so i jus say to myself, "SCREW IT!" so i signed off... cried myself to sleep...
and here i am in the morning... not in the mood to do very much... i found out that i didn't get accepted into UCLA... oh well, i kinda expected it. dang, now i kinda do wanna get away cuz there's NO ONE holding me here anymore... cuz i mean, i mean nothing to everyone here... so why not go away and maybe meet some people who will appreciate me? ok, so maybe i'll miss like a handful of people... but hey, i can still talk to them and what not, and they're my real friends; so they'll always be there... aiya... i'm rambling... i'm jus very very confused right now... gawd, i wish there was an answer booklet to life...
3.14.2002
F*CK YOU MOM!!! shiiiieeett... u seriously kno how to cut someone down and make a person that was so happy feel so down... so yes... F*CK YOU. the end.
yep yep... jus doin my part to advertise it! well, go to DoR to get more info... or jus click on the images above. =] see some sexy hs bboys... ;D
well, today was fun... lol... i didn't really do anything constructive... i did laugh for real reason for most of the day especially during math... jeez... don't get two drugged up sick chicks in the same room together... or even worse, right next to each other... lol... it gets interesting... i think we pissed off our math teacher along with the whole class... oh well, kiss our butts! lol and yea, i have no school tomorrow! yay! so i get to stay home and be lazy! and sleep... MmM... sleep... well, i guess that's all for now... bye!
oh yea, new links in links section and my archives are now up. =]
3.13.2002
i'm 79% addicted to Instant Messenger. How about you?
dang, this week has been HmM... it could've been better... that's all... monday was so boring... i got like 3 hours of sleep that night... which i'm still trying to find an excuse for... i was falling asleep during like 3 of my classes... oh well... doesn't matter much... i also felt a lil sick... throat was sore and what not... but i thought it was jus gonna go away cuz it wasn't that serious... tuesday, i had an early morning math class at 7am... fun... it sucked. my sore throat was bad but i still could talk alrite... but i swear i had a fever like the whole day... my head was burning up but the rest of me was cold... man... and i had this hella sucky headache... grr! after school, i went home and took a nap... then my friend calls me and interrupts my wonderful nap to ask if he could borrow my yearbook... i say, "No, leave me alone. i'm napping." then he informs me that they're in front of my house... dammit... so i change quickstyle and go outside... and MAN! it was coOoOoLd... and i was talkin to him for a while... like 15 minutes probably... and my mom came home... i think that got me even more sick cuz i woke up this morning and couldn't even talk... i sounded like a man... jeezus... so i grabbed all the nyquil/dayquil that i could find in the house and some tylenol... and off i went to school... once at school, i ate a cookie and some juice... i took two dayquil and two tylenol. bad choice cuz i remembered that i'm backwards... cuz dayquil makes me drowsy while nyquil kinda wakes me up then gets me drowsy... so all during 2nd period, i slept... i couldn't even keep my eyes open... then 3rd and 4th, i had tests... so i forced myself to stay awake... 5th period comes, lunch... so i have a sprite, two nyquil and two tylenol... hehe... good lunch huh? oh yesssss... anyway, the nyquil is kickin in for a while... i'm awake... but by the end of 5th, the sleepiness kicks in... so during 6th period, i kept dozing off... jus great... but what made it even more funny was that my friend that sits in my math group is also sick... hehe... and we were both pretty drugged... haha... and yea, when she fell asleep, i woke her up and then i dozed off... it kept going like that throughout the whole period... lol... 7th period... i don't even remember what happened... it was a blur... full of ZzZzz... and ???... lol... i was so not paying attention the whole day except during my two tests... oh well... being sick sucks when u can't stay home... =P
can't remember why we fell apart
with something that was so meant to be
forever was the promise in our hearts
now more and more i wonder where you are
do i ever cross you mind, anytime?
do you ever wake up reaching out for me
do i ever cross your mind, anytime?
i miss you
still have your picture in a frame
hear your footsteps down the hall
i swear i hear your voice driving me insane
how i wish that you would call to say
do i ever cross you mind, anytime?
do you ever wake up reaching out for me
do i ever cross your mind, anytime?
i miss you
no more loneliness and heartache
no more crying myself to sleep
no more wondering about tomorrow
won't you come back to me, come back to me?
do i ever cross you mind, anytime?
do you ever wake up reaching out for me
do i ever cross your mind, anytime?
i miss you
this song really jus gets a person thinking... iono... kinda puts what i'm feeling into words... *sigh* i'm so confused...
3.09.2002
i guess i'll make this a real post of some sort... hehe... these past few days have been interesting to say the least... my grandpa is in the hospital and that's where i've been spending my afternoons for the past few days... he's getting better tho. =] school has jus been blah... iono... jus not working wit me, but i gotta get my act together cuz i gotta keep those grades stable so i can graduate and still get into the college i want to... speakin of college... i recently got accepted into san diego state university and santa clara university... go me! but do i kno where i wanna go or what i wanna do? nope! *shrugz* i'll figure it all out when i find out from all of the schools... i've been doing a lot of driving recently... it's been great! i really love it... i don't make that many mistakes anymore... my mom is actually comfortable now... plus i only make lil mistakes, stuff everyone does every once in a while... my physics teacher would jus like to let all of the drivers out there to know that they are operating a deadly weapon... omg, he likes making us feel really confident right before the weekend... haha... math is killing me... anyone wanna tutor me in calculus? it'd be greatly appreciated... hehe... well, i've talked about school and some bout family... about friends, man.... i don't kno... i realize that i don't really have any really close friends at school except for crys... so weird cuz i always feel left out of stuff... i guess that's what i get for switching cliques like every year... heh... oh well, i don't trust people that much... *shrugz* love... dang... all i kno is that it's strong... and it's got me very confused... well, that's the end for today... i better get back to sleeping... hehe
3.04.2002
"2 completely different worlds that shouldn't have collided..."
maybe it's tru... but i really don't want it to be... cuz i feel only happiness knowing that i met someone like chris... no one is like him... no two people are alike... he jus another person with a different life to enrich mine...
3.02.2002
man... i don't kno... so many things jus racing through my head, i jus had to get them out... i've been thinking about college, my future, my friends (esp. the guys that make my life special), etc. etc. etc... college. wow. i'll know where i'm going by the end of this month. dang. scary, yet happy. i need to get away from things maybe. what sux tho is that i jus began to absolutely love frisco... the more and more i see of it, the more i love it. i love the weather. i love the people. jus everything. can i really jus leave everything that i've known for the past 17.5 years of my life? i guess i'll have to... the future. oh man... i don't even know what's gonna happen. happiness is all that i hope for. my friends. jeez... so many things goin on... it's been almost a month since chris and i broke up... and it's been kinda hard for me, at least... it's hard adjusting to my own life again... there's so many feelings that i wish i could express in words, but i can't... let's jus say that it's difficult... iono... i'll try to explain later i suppose...