HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY MARA!!!!!

i have come to the grim realization that the music currently playing on the radio is CRAP. ok, with the exception of like 2 songs, everything is CRAP. what the fcuk happened to the music industry? who the fcuk let lumidee have a record contract? she can't sing. period. hip hop is non-existent. r&b is on hold as well. a classic song was raped by some guy called fabolous. where's the creativity? where's the quality? since when did lyrics take a backseat to beat and bass? what the hell is sean paul saying in "like glue"? *sigh* whatever happened to the good music. for now, i'll stick to my cds. i'm tired of all this hip pop.

just in case u forgot bout him...

hmm... what to post... what to post... oh yes...

i once knew this filipino guy that i thought was "ideal." he dressed well. he could dance. he had a fun yet sweet personality. and by the way, he wasn't too bad looking either. he was an exception as are all the non-stereotypical filipino guys my age even tho this example only was hiding his true stereotypical-ness. so often i run into the immature, horny motha-fuckers that claim filipino pride out their ass. they're often seen chillin in the mall with a group of friends similar to himself or with his skank ass girlfriend who enjoys muggin everyone that looks better than her [which is everyone]. if this fellow is single, he enjoys to holla at the girls with some crude remark or jus flat out stupid pickup line. the guys i speak of follow the current trends or attemp to. they dress usually ghetto if they're of the daly city breed. also, many of these stereotypical obnoxious filipino guys are hella white-washed. in addition, these stereotypical filipino males do not kno how to handle relationships maturely and that is why they usually date the stereotypical filipino chick. i won't even go there... oh man, that is why i frown upon all these filipino guys... tsk tsk.

MIKE SUX!!!

mike sux (10:43:55 PM): that does hella look like u and me fighting

hahaha... jus call me lady deathstryke.

p.s. - yes, i kno how the fight ends. shut up. in all honesty, wolverine aka mike doesn't stand a chance. =P

well, i'm a greedy person. i admit it. i still believe that the world must revolve around me. ok, not really cuz i rarely ever get my way. ANYWAY, the real reason i decided to post is because i wanna put up a wish list. for what reason u ask? no reason really except for this false hope that someone will buy me something. ha ha... that'll be the day...

- ps2/gamecube/gba sp & games
- pda
- car modifications/a new paint job
- DIGITAL CAMERA [3.0+megapixels]
- some CD-Rs
- a car waxer thing
- web space w/ domain
- clothes & shoes [none of those wussy girlie clothes or shoes]
- a nice computer case
- new faceplate for my cell

hmm... i think that's it... there's probably more but i jus can't think of them right now...

I'm gonna type something crazy. And I'm done! Yes!!! - chris

Adrienne is a bastard that is addicted to scratch x. she can't wash her car because she needs......ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! you bastard!!! you gelled me!!!!!!!!! i have eric's armpit on my shirt!!! - mike

once again everyone's at the spot: my house. how youuuu dooing? adrienne, mike, and chris are freakin nuts. wait, chris is cool. adrienne has once again judged one of my personal items. damn u adrienne! please do not kill me - eric

i'm at eric's house. like whoa. mike is a slut whore bastard guy sitting next to me. chris is behind me fiddling with something. ok, he stopped. we're bout to watch xmen 2. so yes, goodbye. yaaaaaaay blog.

"Is (re)commiting to a girl who's a world away insane of me to do? I'd told myself a million times there's just no way it could work... Afterall, everyone knows that long-distance relationships just don't work out, right? I guess she just makes me want to be wrong. She's the only one who's ever made me want to be wrong..." - Sean

Yes, it's insane, but who said love wasn't insane? love is a risk in itself. you put ur life on the line jus to have the love and companionship of another. you make sacrifices just to have the little things. love is something personal. everyone has their opinions. everyone has their ideals and standards. no one can ever tell you that it will work out or not because in the end, do u think that u would've really listened either way? yes, sean, chris does make me feel like i want to prove that statistic wrong. i want everything to work out so much. i kno some of my actions seem unreasonable and dumb, but what can i say? i'm a victim to what i used to deny. i'm in love, as are you. let your heart lead you, but keep your mind in the passenger seat. this isn't high school love anymore.

the past two days have been quite dull. no more school. watched tomb raider. i love angelina jolie. i'm writing random thougt sentences. i pretended that i didn't kno someone that i've known since kindergarten [ask for full story if u want]. i've sorta caught up with 3 long lost friends. i feel unimportant and neglected sometimes. boredom seems to be contagious. i get irritable when i'm bored. apparently, i'm not alone with that. i ran out of things to say for the day. gnite.

for a while now, i've thought about my friends new and old. i must admit that sometimes i miss the days in hs sitting at the table during lunch wit the "minority crew." i also admit that i miss the [sorry for the use of racial terms] white gurls that were actually good friends of mine. those days are long gone. friendships have been forgotten. in the past, they have been left. it's just crazy to think of how close i was to a few of them [jey, anson, crys, sheena, silvio]. they were the ones who got me thru those last two years of high school. they had the most influence in my life at the time. then in a matter of months, *bam* i had none. that's when i reached that point when i thought that irvine would do me some good. get away from the so called friends and make some real ones. i'm not saying that i haven't made any real friends thus far, but i've realized how much i've grown since hs in just this year. i learned that i have to be less trusting because there are those people who can jus tear out whatever's left of my heart and step all over it. i'm not necessarily saying that the ones i named did that. maybe they did, maybe they didn't. or maybe it was a few of them. heh. i spent 9 months down in irvine. i started out with all these pictures on my wall and on my desk of all the friends i left back at home just to find out during those 9 months that they no longer were true. when it comes to friends that i make on my own, i made bad choices. i chose the losers. [this is a general statement that is not true about the present.] i chose the partyers. i chose the potheads. i chose the scrubs. i chose the bad drivers. i chose the liars. i chose the cheaters. somehow, everything i never wanted to be surrounded me. thankfully, these days are going better. all the new friends i have are awesome. though, i didn't really choose them because they were introduced to me. at least in irvine, i kno that the friends i made down there are truer and will treat me better than any of the ones in hs did. i won't be jus left alone again. lonliness is one of the worst feelings. ironically enough, the ones i trusted to never let me feel that way were the ones who did.

to my friends [CKT, EKT, MCC, JChin, PM, CnaT, EC, CD, GP, AR, MR, SA, VB, M&M, JB, and a few unnamed others]: hopefully, you kno who you all are. thank you for being there for me since day one. hopefully when times change and our lives take different paths, we'll still be the same. all i have is hope. i do trust u all. thank you so much. you jus don't kno what each of u means to me.

to the ones who've FUCKED me over: have a good life. u thought i'd say something like "fuck you," huh? well, i don't wish anythin negative against u cuz u were once my all...

i jus finished watching episode 28 of samurai jack. funny stuff. it's the rave episode. hahaha... oh man... "...but now you are free. Return to your homes and never dance to this evil beat again."

i want these. i want them all!!! naruto plush dolls!!! WOO!

ladeedah. i jus got back from pete's house a lil while ago. fun times indeed. i have learned once again that i do not need alcohol or other substances to act like an idiot. no-siree-bob. once i'm around people who are a less than sober... it's all over. i've noticed this a few times before, but yes, tonight was another example of that. i jus don't need or want it. seriously. i have no desire whatsoever. ok, sometimes curiosity takes a hold of me, but do i? nah,'m coo without it all. plus, the smell of alcohol and what not make me feel yucky.

today was quite activity filled i suppose. it started out with getting ready at around 11:30 to find a dress for my cousin's wedding in november cuz i'm a bridesmaid. we went alllll the way to pinole to david's bridal to pick out dresses. pretty much all the bridesmaids were there and my cousin. the first 2 dresses that they picked were nice, but then... as i was gettin happy with the second one, they chose a third one. OH MAN. i thought it was ugly. i expressed this disgust as well, but to my dismay, i was outvoted. i guess i have no real choice to wear the dress... so yes, my mom paid $150 for a dress that i don't even like. sux huh? oh well... what sux even more is that we will have to get it altered later one. damn dresses. did i mention that i didn't like it either? blah... here's a picture... just imagine it in a deep apple red...



after the adventure in pinole, we crossed the bridge to go back towards home. guess where me, my other cousin, my aunt, and my mom went! tanforan! haha... ok, so it's closed leaving only target, sears, and jcpenney's open. we went to target first where my mom bought me all this stuff to wash our cars! FUN!!! omg. everyone should buy Meguiar's (sp?) ScratchX. oh man, that stuff is the bomb. it gets rid of minor scratches and swirls. good stuff. total, i got about $100 worth of stuff. it's gonna be fun! after target, we went to sears so they could find dresses and what not. nothing too entertaining there...

yes, that was my day pretty much. after getting home, i chilled for a lil bit then left for pete's at about 8:00. hella people were there. fun times tho. i really do love chris's friends/family. =]

nothing much to post really.
HAPPY BDAY TO JEFF AND PETE!!!!!!

yes yes... watched bad boys II on friday. it was pretty good. i liked it. was kinda long tho. i was in san jo today for my lil cousin's bday too. pretty boring. i don't like family parties cuz they're so freakin boring that i end up doing either or both of the following: sleeping and eating. therefore, i become a chubby lazy ass on a couch or i invade a bedroom. sux. hmm... yeaaa... i'm damn bored and i think i'm gonna head on to bed since i have nothing left to tell you and nothing to do... BLAH!

life may suck sometimes, but be glad that you haven't fallen a victim to this wonderful service. =D suckas.

hmm... i've been pretty tired the past few days and been kickin it wit my mom more. i guess there's a semi-balance goin on in this household. she's happy and i'm content. i guess as long as we're not trying to kill each other, it's coo. thankfully, i'm gonna spend all day with chris tomorrow and friday. wOo! haha... not like i haven't been seeing him all week thus far, but it's jus different when we actually go do something other than jus sleep. yes, i have gone to his house after school and taken a nap until like 2. haha... yea, we're good. =]

so guys, how's summer going out there www-land? hopefully well unless i hate you or something. if that's the case, i hope u suffer in sweltering heat and gain like twice the body fat u already have! jkjkjk!!! karma...

On beauty. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It's a matter of taste. They say beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes way down to the bone. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. And Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships. There are exotic beauties. Hidden gems. Diamonds in the rough. The crown jewel. There are beauty queens. Ugly ducklings. Acquired tastes. Late-bloomers. Classic beauties. There are looks that kill. Looks to die for. Looks that turn heads and looks that stop traffic. But looks aren't everything. You can't judge a book by its cover. Cuz the prettier the face the dumber the head. But could be, they're more than just a pretty face. For beauty comes in all shapes and forms. And it's what's on the inside that really matters. For a thing of beauty is a joy forever. But remember: The star that burns brightest burns briefest. And every rose has its thorn.
-T.

the past few days have been the type of days where u jus wanna spend time with the ones u love most and/or think about what's really important in life. life. temporary but extraordinary. thankfully, everyone's doin okay and tony will be just fine. kinda tired right now. the past two days have been rough... well, take care everyone. i will write more later... and yes, jeff, i'll start the dang layout! =P

whenever i get lonely, i like to cuddle up with my pillow... LOL! JK!

u goin? cuz i doubt i am! jus spreadin the word.

i have just come to the realization that if i didn't have chris, i'd be going hungry everyday. seriously tho, i'm so poor that i'm heavily dependent on chris monetarily-speaking. when i say that i'm broke, i mean it. i have $4 in my checking account and $0 in my pocket. i even had to borrow change from someone in my calc class so i could buy a damn poptart from the vending machine. how sad is that? fuckin aye... so yes, my ass needs some form of income or else i'll be a triflin pigeon or sum crap. lol. hell nahhhh... it's not like i'm asking people to buy me everything i want... well, not seriously at least. haha... oh man. my financial status has me bummed. freakin money. hopefully the parental gives some sort of support cuz i sure as hell need it. oh yea, with this desperity for money, please make use of the paypal logo on the right side. if u don't already have paypal, sign up for it and u get $5!!! [and so do i... suckas.] hehe...

oh yea, someone please pester me to start a new layout cuz i'm in need of one...

URBAN / SPORTY : Stylin`? Definitely. Your fashion is strictly defined: a little hip hop, a little class, and a little sporty. Music is a lil` bit of hip-hop, both mainstream and underground. Music is your motivation, attitude, way of thinking, and way of life. There ain`t nothing stopping you from sitting on top of the world. Oh and thongs? Girl, you know it`s strictly brand names.


What Asian Girl Are You?
VISIT HTTP://JEALOUSY.TK

damn... none of the results really fit me. what can i say? i'm not a typical anything. there's no stereotype that can catagorize me sucka! esp that ish bout brand name thongs... u swear?!?!

i got a free slurpee today. did u? damn mike took my car and parked it hella far from chrisna's house today. so i took his car and drove around tryin to find it. of course i did the occasional brake check to piss mike off. hehe... that bastardo. and then because of chrisna's dumb furniture choice and placement, i got pushed off a couch and hit a coffee table freakin hard. dammit. so i'm gonna have a nice colored bruise on the back of my knee. i must say that it's damn painful too. i raped chrisna's computer!!! lol. i burned 18 full albums and 1 cd of random videos. YESSS! suckas. fun day overall. after mike left eric/chrisna's place, chris and i headed over to his house to drop off my car and went to get food. after eating, we went back to his place and watched the eye. creepy ass japanese movie. yes. so yea, it was a fun day spent with eric, chris, and mike. fun times. chrisna is missin out since he's in long beach still. muahahaha...

LOL!!! oh man... crazy japanese... =P

just between u and me. ;]

hmm... my days are quite typical. kick it wit chris and what not. watch a movie [t3, pirates of the caribbean]. eat. chill. u kno the deal. no complaints tho. gotta love summer time.

as i was listening to a few of the mix cds i have in my car, i recalled how last summer went. no school. cool job. no boyfriend [ =/ ]. most importantly, though, i had the company of my best friend. with those days long gone, i can't help but wonder how everyone i used to kick it is doing. all those serra people. the ndb minority chicks. etc. in a way, i miss them, but i kno that i'm probably better off without those who were enemies disguised as friends. of course, not all of them were bad people, but a few were. i am glad though that all the drama and what not has subsided. no more petty bitch fights with people. no more stupid drama with friends. no more insecurity. i can easily say that i'm comfortable with the friends that have stuck with me day by day. they're the irreplaceable ones. the rest were just stepping stones. they were the ones that would teach me what true friendship is. like with all things in life, there's always an opportunity to learn. with the type of people i've run in with in my life so far, i've learned a lot. especially with all the crap i've been thru with not just "friends" but with family and whatever... a lot of learning experiences.

ok. my next paragraph will consist of a few sentences describing the thoughts in my head right now: my mom is still trying to keep me under her control. chris is difficult sometimes, but who isn't. i still love him more than ever. pirates of the caribbean is an awesome movie. johnny depp is hella cool in the movie. pepsi blue has weird effects on my brain. buy it for me and suffer the consequences. my cell phone is becoming obsolete. i should get a pda because my life is beyond disorganized. i need to get a digital camera because with everyday that passes, memories are left uncatalogued. i've seen deanna two days in a row at random places, odd coincedences. hmm... i think that's all. math sucks! k, the end. =]

as of 12:00am, i am no longer a cambodian. *sigh* hehe... yes, i became cambodian for the weekend. now, i am back in the bay with the wonderful fog. heh. today was kinda uneventful i suppose. we all went to the cambodian buddhist temple cuz of the cursed boys. jk. it was pretty interesting. according to my fortune that i got from a number on a stick, my life sucks and no supportive people in my life. there wasn't anything positive in it. dang fortune. and the monk guy talked bout me and chris. nothing super intriguing there. oOh, i forgot to talk bout last night. last night was hella long but pretty fun. the cousins played poker and then blackjack. i'm mike's [chris's pseudo-cousin] lucky charm apparently... haha... or just a helpful person. =P quite amusing. after hours of that, everyone started goin to sleep except the youngins, so we all chilled outside jus talking. pretty interesting. so yup, overall, i must say that my fourth of july weekend was really good. it wasn't so much what i was doing that made it great, but the company i was with. =] thanx guys.

- chris, chrisna, mike, eric, sokara, tiffany, and angela. chris's mom, eric & chrisna's mom, and mike's mom. all good people. thank you. love u guys like my second family, cuz u are my second family. =D

so i'm in long beach right now wit chris's family and what not. we got here yesterday afternoon. everything's been pretty coo. the weather has been pretty up there but manageable. chris's family is hella coo man. they're awesome. hehe... we went to lil saigon yesterday in westminster. that place is craaaaazy. hella people. hella viet people. i felt like everyone was looking at us. most of the time it was true. oh well. nothing too exciting there. bootlegs and fake name brands. hehe... chris's mom bought me a cute shirt. i'll have pics when i can. =] today, we were gonna go to universal studios, but everyone was kinda lazy and didn't really feel like going... so we ended up eating at ihop and then goin to the mall later in the day. i bought a cool hat. it's like my knit white one but it has a bill. niiice stuff. bought it on clearance. hehe... and i got a free bart keychain cuz that was the only interesting thing on the clearance rack. it was buy one item on the clearance rack and get one free. so yea. bought hat. got keychain. anyway, after gettin home, chrisna [chris's cousin] notices my cool hat and wants it. so after eating a lil bit, and he watched ashanti on tv, we ended up driving to the mall again. i got to drive the bmw. haha... cool. so yup, we went back to anchor blue and i tried exchanging the bart keychain for the hat. it worked and i got $2.80 cents back. which is weird since i didn't pay for the keychain. *shrugz* free money is good money. hehe... after that, i wanted to go back to pacsun to buy a hat i was eying earlier. so i bought it! haha... we had to ask the guy to open the gate cuz they were closing. luckily, he opened it for us. so yes, two hats in one day and free money. i'm feeling pretty good. sorta. ha. =P tomorrow, we're supposed to be goin to a buddhist temple at 10am. gonna be interesting. alrighty peeps, take care and be safe. =]

oh by the way... i had a calc test today. i seriously have this deep feeling that i... KICKED SOME CALCULUS ASS!!! wOo!!! hahahaha... k, that is all. continue with ur lives citizens.

hello bLog. today was a good day. i spent it with chris. [suprised? haha...] we went to japantown to get refills for my mom and my air spensaaaaaaas! haha... squash for me and crystal for her. man... i love that air freshener scent. wOoweE. almost has the same effect on me as polo sport. =P [and some other colognes but i forgot their names... i think the scent of mangoes is really yummy too... ok, off of this tangent] so hello. after jtown, we ate at kfc. then proceeded to kragen to get some polish for my car cuz of all the scratches and ish on it. we also got some headlight bulbs for my car. after that, we went to ranch99 to see if there were any chestnuts. none. darn. i bought some candy for chris and me instead. =] sOo, after all that, we finally went back to chris's house. tired from all that, i played with the new supra model chris bought me while chris took a 5 second nap. lol. we kinda jus chilled and sat around watching tv esp. terminator 2 on usa. cool stuff. at around 10:20, we decided to put in the new bulbs. turned out hella nice. clean. =] yup, so that was pretty much my day. i hate how my bLog is turning out. it's become a journal! dammit... i've become one of my hated things... bLogs that are just crap bout a person's day... i SWEAR that i'll get a quality typical me entry in soon. i promise. =P

yesterday was a cool day for the most part. kicked it wit chris after school until bout 4. we ate and jus kinda chilled and cruised around. driving around in my cool civic with the moonroof open. =] gotta love it. hehe... after that, i went home to meet with vinh, sean, and like 320482034 people. hahahaha... jk. but i was suprised to see so many people. haven't rolled that deep for a while. so yea, it was vinh, sean, me, albert, umm... uh oh... i forgot the rest. DAMMIT! anyway, there were 3 other girls and 1 more guy. hehe... my bad. anyway, we all went to pier 39 and jus walked around. we ate at bubba gump's first. pretty good food i suppose. i got a cool cup with my drink. hehe... i wanted to buy this shirt at one of the stores there that has a picture of the sf skyline. but yea, didn't find the exact one to make me happy. i also saw a kickass hat that i wanted but it was jus a tad expensive. it was a blue, black, and white sf giants hat. hella nice. and there was one more thing i wanted but didn't buy. it was this car decor set for the crazy sf giants fans. haha... but the only reason i wanted it was for the window clings. maaan... there was on that had san francisco in orange in that cursive font style. i wanted it!!! oh well... to expensive jus for that. i got home around 8:30. i kinda jus sat around until 12:30 and went to bed at bout 1. yup, not too interesting. but i saw chris. good. gotta love him. and i saw sean and vinh. good as well. missed u guys. =] anywaaaaaaaay, i'm gonna try to enjoy this wonderful day in the bay. have i ever mentioned how much i absolutely love the bay!?!?!? =D