hello everybody. i hope u had a good christmas. well, times have been hard the past few weeks. i had so many plans, but alas... none really came through. one thing tho was that i wanted to have at least a kick ass new year's eve. so the original plan about a month ago or so was planet new year. i was plannin on goin wit the bf and crys. well, so crys ran out of money and what not so she fell thru. unfortunately for adrienne, she told her mommy that she was goin wit her. oh well, i say. i think my mom has noticed her name not being mentioned for over two weeks. with time so limited, why scuffle. she's busy. that's understandable. *shrugz* i try. i live.

*sigh* say hello to my friend. his name is a.p. that's academic probation. yes, indeedy...

i jus caught up with dominic's bLog, and not once can i recall almost coming to tears from entries. dang, when i read his entries about his love situation, i'm brought back to chris and me. i share the same feelings for chris as he feels for mariel. *sigh* how much i love this guy jus isn't imagineable. with all that i am, i love him. with all that i have, i love him. all i see in my past is him. all i see in my present is him. all i see in my future, is him. my happiness, my joy, my love. i wanna bring in this new year with you, in your arms. i love you chris...

so i'm home. i got my computer working. great. i have learned that i don't need to be online to be happy. weird, huh? odd to hear that from me. i'd rather depend on my phone. iMs are just too easy. someone can jus sit at their computer and wait for u to sign on and then talk to u, but if they call you, it shows they really care. ha.

so break has been kinda dull with only the outings with the bf to make everything brighter. i spend most of my days sleeping or watching tv. super, huh? i do a lot of reflecting tho... and now, i'm thinking to myself that i have nothing really to say right now... so good night.

u miss me don't u? hahahaha...

well, i'm gettin the rest of my stuff together and gettin ready to go even tho i'm not really leaving her until around 7 and then my flight's at 8:25. well, last night was kinda crazy... i had dinner with my cousin at olive garden. i hella ate. haha... then we went tapioca express. i had watermelon juice wit boba. [it's been a long time since i've had thai iced tea. and i don't like it there.] after that, i kicked it at his apartment and played tekken tag tournament. i really really like that game... hehe... we got all of the secret characters and stuff. we jus need the endings now. =P after that i stopped at the student center and got a mocha bottled frap cuz i was craving it at about 1:30am. that was a bad idea. well, as u may have noticed through the times of my previous entries, my sleep schedule is all fcuked up. i've become nocturnal. well, when u take that and add a dose of caffeine, u get a very hyper adrienne in the wee hours of the day... i was awake from 3pm wednesday to about 10:30am thursday straight. i finally clocked out, and woke up around 3. hahaha... what did i do all that time? a lot! i packed. i did the laundry. i burned cds. i'm good... haha... well, right now, i'm kinda jus chillin and gettin final things together. the last thing to do is unplug my computer. =[ it's better safe than sorry. hehe... man, when i get home, i won't have a computer! so, i'll try to fix that one, but if i can't, don't be suprised if u don't see very many updates. the webcam pic will probably stay that way until i get back to so.cal. i'll jus have to go to eggettes pretty freakin often to bLog. ;] well, three weeks of vacation. unless my mom makes me work or something... argh... iono tho, i'm kinda broke... aiya... we'll see... anyway! have fun the next few weeks! i'll update as soon as i can. =]

EPA REPRESENT!!! =P

i'm not gonna miss them this time around. =P

LOVE
oh love, what a double edged sword. with the good times, there are a few bad times. u kno what i wish didn't exist? heartache. too bad that can't be. i wish that all my friends didn't have to go thru crap with their significant others. i wish that everything was happy for everyone, or at least when things go bad, they don't go horribly terrible where it's so hard to recover. man... the past few weeks have been full of drama, and not really for me. breakups, arguments, make-ups, etc. the two strongest relationships i knew ended. gets u thinking. what is love? how can it be so strong yet so weak at the same time? how can an intangible thing have so much effect on people's lives? some people live their lives always in search of the "one." in the movie The One, jet li's character believed that his wife was the one that completed him, the one that complemented everything he had. wow. love. "A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. " oneness, that's how love is, even with a friend. think bout ur best friend. can u say that u love him/her? i hope so. not romantically, but still love. they complement u in a way too and complete u. love, when should it end? can true love end? and if it can end and it does, can u turn back? personally, TRUE love cannot end, but a relationship can be ended, leaving the love on the side to be uncovered again later. but then again, what is TRUE love? who would've figured that love is so confusing but probably everyone in this world wants it? i wish all of u love.

and with that... HAPPINESS
what makes u happy? who is your happiness? is it wrong to have all of ur happiness lie in one person or thing? i don't think so as long as u're happy, right? but what happens when that one thing goes unhappy? the world seems as if it's ending and u spiral downward into a dark abyss... money can't buy happiness. it's true if u think about it. would u really be happy if u had all the money in the world but no one to share that joy with? i wouldn't be happy. think about it. jus always remember tho, with all happy times, there are bad times, but if things seem at their worst, they can only go up. live happy. i wish all of u happiness.

"one day u asked if i would save my own life over yours. i answered that i would same my life. you walked away angrily, but what u don't kno is that you are my life."

[i love you, chris. you are my happiness and my all. 8 + 2 = 10 Months. it's been a hard journey to make it this far, but i can only see forever when i dream of u.]

alright, let's begin the ramblings!

well, i decided what else i want for christmas... i want my own domain and webspace... mMmhmm... it's not that expensive either... oR get blogspot plus and add on the domain there... that wouldn't be that bad... but i'd prefer my own stuff... =P

well, yes, my friends, adrienne is done with her finals as of monday 6pm. i kno all of u with finals are jealous. hehe... okok, so i opted to not take one of them, big deal. =P i have a perfect f in that class, why screw that up? hahaha... seriously tho, i'll make up for that f with other classes to bring back up my gpa. so what did adrienne do today since she had no finals? she slept. and by sleeping, oh my... i slept from about 6am to 5pm. lol i haven't been this well rested in a while! i leave for home thursday night and arrive at SJC before 10 i think. well, i made a list of things i have to do before i leave. i have to clean out the refrigerator and what not, pack up the food, etc. i'm gonna leave my computer at my cousin's apartment too cuz i'm a lil paranoid. i received an e-mail from the housing saying that it's best not to leave any valuables here... *shrugz* my computer is the most valuable thing here to me... school... heh.

well, i've been thinking bout my "social" situation here at school... i'd be lying if i didn't say that i have friends here, but i don't really have that "connection" with any of them... i don't feel as if i can call them at any hour of the day if i needed someone to talk to. i can't jus call them up and ask if they wanted to do something. i don't like the people in my dorm that much... well, i don't kno them. ha. i kno their names, and only talk to maybe one of them. i guess i'm keeping myself from getting to kno them because i have this feeling that i won't like what i find. they're too different from me. nothing in common. they're the type of girls i avoided in high school... for good reason. i didn't want to end up hating them, so i kept contact at a minimum. i guess u could tell me that i should give people a chance, but whatever... only 2 more quarters. i have to start lookin for a place to stay next year and roomies too... plus, i love my friends back at home, and right now, they're really all i need... love u guys. =]

about 3 weeks at home, i wonder how it'll go... my mom told me that i have to get a job. riiight. u really think 3 weeks is worth it? we'll see... i have a few ideas in mind i guess. gRr... i don't wanna work! it's a freakin break! a break from school/work. GrRr... freakin mom. hopefully, we'll get along better than how it was thanksgiving. and hopefully, she'll let me bring my car down. *sigh* i have this feeling that i'm jus dreaming... well, i hope that i'll get to kick it wit crys a lot cuz it's been a while. and of course, chris! *giggle* i want time to jus kick it wit people cuz i miss my friends!!! all of u! san jo rep! pittsburg/east bay rep! frisco!!! =] u kno who u all are. hehe...

well, that's all for now cuz i gotta start doing stuff... =P

my car is like my own personal universe
she's my drug and it only takes twelve bucks to fill 'er up
but in my galaxy there ain't no room for Earth
so I'm leavin it cuz I can feel the oil pressure building up
turning over the ignition of my solar system
check the gauges, pushin the tape, put my foot on the break
shift existance like my cigarette
and take it state to state until I crash into my fate

"i'll make you smile jus so i can sit and look at it."
when the hardships of your daily life is over, what do u look forward to? in high school after i got my license, i looked forward to driving home. why? because my car was my form of solitude for those 15 minutes or so. my car was where it could be just me, my music, my baby flair [the car], my thoughts, and the speed. i miss my car. during the summer, i looked forward to spending time wit crystal to get my mind off of the upcoming college plans and mom issues. wit crystal, i could jus be myself, goofy as that may be. we could act like complete asses, and it just wouldn't matter. those were good times that i truly miss. and on to the present time. when things went wrong and i was feeling down, i knew that i could turn to chris to help me feel better without having to go over all the sh*t i was going through. it wasn't necessary to tell what was going on because i could handle that, but i just needed to know that i could still be happy. chris makes me happy. i miss him, but i'm glad that i still have him. "i will show you all you need to know. you must hold on to anyone that wants you, and i will love you through the simple and the struggle."

u kno i jus read this and i think that it totally covers what i think:
"getting fucked up is exactly that; fucked up."

my life is goin down...
yet, what does adrienne do?
she does not frown...

failing/failed one course
screwed over for the rest of freshman year
and a heightened feeling of lonliness

ASIAN SENSATIONS / Pop fads from across the Pacific Rim are finding an enthusiastic market here
oh, i knew i'd be in the news one day... ;P i miss eggettes!!! waaaahhh!!!

It's so hard having a long distance love
It seems like
Well, it just seems like he's so far away
And when I call him and he doesn't answer
Well, it seems like the world won't turn
I just wanna pick up the phone just to hear his voice
I call him and let it ring and ring until he answers
Just to tell him how much I miss him
How much I can't stand being this far apart
But most of all, I wanna tell him
I can't picture being without him

Can't picture livin' my life without you man
Can't picture you not bein' around to hold my hand, yeah
Can't picture us sittin' on seperate sides of the land
I can't picture you bein' this far without me man, man
Can't picture you with no phone to call me babe
Can't picture you bein' five miles away, yeah
Can't picture goin' on another day
Even if it's just a phone call away

I tried long distance love, I called AT&T
I tried Bell Atlantic, Sprint
But none of them connects me to you
Yeah, ooh ooh, yeah

I tried long distance love, I called AT&T
I tried Bell Atlantic, Sprint
But none of them connects me to you

Can't picture you with another chick, boy I can't eat
Can't picture it in my mind, I can't sleep
Can't picture us never bein' more than two feet
Can't picture this love thing not meant to be, be
Can't picture you not drivin' in my neighborhood
Can't picture them hatin' on you cuz you too good, yeah
Can't picture me goin' on another day
Even though you're just a phone call away

I tried long distance love, I called AT&T
I tried Bell Atlantic, Sprint
But none of them connects me to you

I tried long distance love, I called AT&T
I tried Bell Atlantic, Sprint
But none of them connects me to you

1-800
Dial my man, as fast as I can
He's my long distance lover
So far away, my baby

1-800
Dial my man, as fast as I can
He's my long distance lover
So far away, my baby

I tried long distance love, I called AT&T
I tried Bell Atlantic, Sprint
But none of them connects me to you

I tried long distance love, I called AT&T
I tried Bell Atlantic, Sprint
But none of them connects me to you
tamia - long distance love

Adrienne's Christmas WishList:
. money
. clothes/shoes
. bike
. printer
. beanies, hats, & such [sunglasses]
. stuff for car
. clive backpack: shelly
. toys [bit char-g stuff, choro-q, legos, etc]
. simple silver ring
. large graff of her name for wall
. sony cybershot-u20
. cell phone accessories
. sharper image ionic breeze gp
. ps2 & games

u notice how most of that is from my bday list? haha... yea... *shrugz* i'm kinda lacking in money right now guys, so don't be sad if ur gift kinda sux... i usually go all out on presents cuz i love giving presents especially when they're good... oh well... we'll see how things work out.

bOo! i updated.