you know... i was jus thinking... i kinda don't like the countdown on the left... it's like scary... what do u think?

dang... it's crazy when someone tells u that he tried to kill himself yesterday... jus gets u thinkin bout hella shit... like how precious life is and how easily it can be ended... jus gets u thinkin bout ur own mortality... and gets me thinkin bout when i almost did... and all the thoughts that crossed my mind... i convinced myself that no matter what pain and shit i was goin through, none of it was worth ending my life... blah, anyway! moving on...

as time goes on, one begins to notice her own flaws... for me... i'm short tempered. i have a lot of pride. i hate being wrong. i have violent tendencies. i have my own conceited moments. i forgive too easily. i accept too much. but hey, no one's perfect and everyone has their moments...

u kno what i hate bout playing games... i've noticed this at work... i hate the pressure u get right before u take ur next move... could it apply to life? i think so.

alrite, now i'm up to date... lol... today, i got to work at 2:20... my timecard says 2:00... shHh... hahaha... anywayz, for snack, we put out watermelon wit grapes and cheese wit crackers... well, there's this one white kid that's pretty damn annoying... today he was jus stinky... lol! u jus don't kno... he said somethin bout eatin beans for lunch... and then the boi was jus eatin hella cheese... omg... the room jus reaked! me and my co-workers were jus shit talkin after everyone left. lol... well, crys came over, but my mom wasn't home so we had to wait for her... while we were waiting, i was showin her hella random pics/videos on my comp... it was so funny! i have old ass pics of her! lol... we were jus rollin and makin fun of some of the other pics! smile crys! hahahaha... =P my mom finally came home, and said that we should eat at lucky chances... lol... so we did... and we brought our bit char-g cars wit us... jus playin wit them around the table... lol! crys's is messed up now... =[ she's probably jus gonna buy another one if it can't be fixed. oh wellz... after lucky chances, we went to serramonte... yea.... we're weirdos... lol... there's so many cool shirts at hot topic! i got all excited when i saw a jem shirt... i so wanted it, but it had pink trim... d'oh! all 80s shit! it's so tyte man... the dood that works there is pretty cute! asian guy that dresses all cool and ish... can't describe... haha... crys agreed. haha... and i can't believe we forgot to stop by mr. rags! d'oh! lol we bought some stuff at victoria's secret... lol! we had to carry the pink striped bags that were sprayed wit some perfume around the damn mall... *mumble* anywayz, after serramanila, we headed off to eggettes... on the way there, i was jus lookin at crys's rearview mirror, then i see this thing fallin from it... i was like, "WTF?!?!" and jus pointed at it! lol... it was a fuckin tiny ass spider! hahahaha... crys was like, "i like how u jus watched it instead of catching it..." LOL! my bad! i didn't kno what the fuck it was! hahaha... we chilled at eggettes and played wit my s2000... then headed home... we changed her rear tail lights back to the stock turn signals... =[ then she dropped me off at home. the end of yet another aj and crys day. yea, i think i only have one friend. hehe

saturday morning, my mom woke me up at bout 8 o'clock... we were gonna head off to LA for the weekend and come back on monday... so we got ready and went to eat... started drivin at around 10... not too much traffic... a long ass drive tho... i slept maybe a lil more than an hour... played wit my gameboy for a while... we reached LA at around 6, i think... we didn't do anythin that day... walked around the hotel a lil bit... watched a movie... changing lanes... nothin too interesting... i played wit my s2000 and my gba... hehe... sunday, we went to the block at orange... it's a coo outdoor mall in orange... i bought a refill for my air freshener in the car. score! haha... my mom bought a tent for the cats... yea, a tent... i can fit in it... it's crazy... anyway... i also bought the necklace i've been lookin for wit the shells that hang off of it... black string... yea yea... u'll jus have to see it... i bought one for crys too... hehe... and omg... my mom hella fixed up her cell... lol... that woman... she bought a dragon faceplate and a flashing battery! and she changed the leds to red ones! hahahaha... it's nice, i must say... but it's jus like mine but red. lol... good shit tho... i like it. she bought me a case too... i have a blue/black dragon one... =] happy me. after the block, we headed off to pick up my cousin at his apartment... after, we ate at the claim jumper... played wit my rc in the restaurant... lol... but yea, the food was pretty good... and omg... there's this cake called the motherlode... and omg... it's a 6-layer chocolate cake... lol... we didn't finish it... =P after eating, we went to south coast plaza... and omg... that mall is so richy... but it's hella nice... and speaking of "hella," my cousin kept mocking me!!! jus cuz it's proof that i'm a frisco kid.. pSsH.. "like whatever cuzzin" hahaha... =P after walkin around the mall for a while [the stores were all closin by that time], we decided to go to a japanese grocery store that has other shops in it too... like a mini-mini version of the japantown here... there was even an auto freak! haha... my mom bought an air freshener for her car... the scent is crystal. lol... it's the red air spencer one or somethin like that... anyway, that's my ricer mommy... i convinced her to jus buy a new car, but keep the 240sx as a project car. =] that'd be cool... anywayz... after that place, we headed off to go rent some dvds... we couldn't remember the street that the blockbuster we go to here so they couldn't get my mom's card number... that sucked... we decided to choose between zoolander and iron monkey... i chose zoolander cuz i thought my mom would like it more, but she changed it at the last minute without me or my cousin knowin to iron monkey cuz she thought the people made a mistake and switched the tapes... lol... anywho, the manager was bein a jerk and wouldn't check for my mom's card again... so we jus asked the other dood that helped us first... he was so helpful! i swear... he should be the manager... so my cousin had to get a card, but oh well... we went back to his place and watched iron monkey... funny movie! hehe... good stuff... my cousin loved it cuz he's into all those martial arts movies and stuff... hehe... after the movie, my mom and i went back to the hotel... monday, our last day, we checked out and everything, then headed off to UC Irvine... i wanted to get my id card done before school started so i wouldn't have to wait or sum shit... u never kno... anyway, so i got that done really quick... and my mom got her questions answered too... so we probably spent like half an hour on campus... lol... then we picked up some food at in n out... the guy at the drive-thru said, "welcome to uci" to me! hahahaha... he must've seen the decal i bought that was sitting on my lap. lol! we headed home at around 12... got back around 6. fun stuff. =]

friday... well, i didn't have the best night ever, so i was feelin all bummy... crys calls and asks to go out and what not... i tell her that i'm not feelin it and go back to sleep... i eventually wake up and get showered and what not... by the time crys calls again after she finishes her shiat wit her mama, i was down to go out... we headed off to valleyfair... car rides are so fun when it's wit me and crys... jus actin like idiots... makin faces at people... "dancing" to the beat... and jus noddin away... lol... anywayz, pat met up wit us there eventually... i bought a sweatshirt from aeropostale for $20... cool stuff man... then we walkin around for a while... then omg... the cell phone doods from stonestown jus happened to be at valleyfair that day... they spotted us! eek! lol... then we saw sum cool faceplates... all three of us bought one... haha... they're hella cool... i had to take off my flashing keypad tho. =[ oh wellz... crys bought a bit char-g rc car... u kno those mini ones? yea, she bought a nissan gloria. good ish... then we decided to head off to the great mall... the stores were almost closing but we still got some walkin around done... and omg... there was this group of girls that looked at us when we walked by... then as we were goin around, they saw us again! but this time we walkin right towards them, so to be nice and not bust through them, i moved to my right and went around them... but damn! one of the girls was straight up staring at me!!! she like watched me walk away! i was checked out by a girl. omg... crys! damn ur vibes... lol... but yea, they kept smilin and turnin around as they walked away... bah! well, after that incident, we passed by another bit char-g booth... and they had some nice cars... more variety... pat decided to get one, a blue skyline. i decided that i'd get one too since i've always wanted one and since it was pretty cheap... the guy helpin us was coo too... do i bought a s2000. cute lil thing! after gmall, we decided to go to in n out... the one in milpitas... well, i was in crys's car followin pat... and he was bout to exit to the right when he meant to go the left... so he pulled a quick ass turn... and oh fawk... it jus threw his car out of control... and he jus spun out... he was so fuckin close to hittin the sign... and crys and i were freaked out cuz it seemed like he was gonna hit us... fawkin aye... i told crys to take the lead and jus fuckin exit... needed to cool off. so yea, we did... then back we went on the way to in n out... finally got there... we were all wonderin wtf was wit all the security... turns out that they close at 10 so all the racers won't gather there anymore... heh... the runs. interesting. we were gonna get some batteries for our new toys, but walgreens was closed... so we all said our gbyes and went home... hehe... crys was tired on the way home... i felt bad for her! having to drive me home and ish... but yea, thankfully, she made it home jus fine. =]

another day. another outing wit crys. i swear my mom's gettin annoyed wit my constant going out. *shrugz* i'll make it up to her somehow... anywayz, we started off today's journey with japantown. the traffic was fun. hahahaha... crys jus got hyperblinkers... oh man... that shit is fun... it's like a strobe on crack/meth/e/shrooms/weed/EVERYTHIN... lol! oh man... anywayz, at jtown, she bought hyperwhite lights for the rear turn signals... which we jus found out are illegal... mofos... but yea, we changed them while we were in the parking garage. the first time, the doods gave us the wrong ones, so we went back and exchanged them. then we got the right ones... and damn, the white lights are so fuckin sexy... u jus don't know... lol.. such a shame... then after jtown, we went to jollibee... yes, again... lol! nothin too interesting this time... i think they're startin to recognize us. haha... after jollibee... we couldn't really think of anywhere to go... but we ended up at target. lol... fun stuff man... we walked around almost the entire store... crys was ridin the skateboard around and shit... lol... finally we got to the section we came for... but they didn't even have what crys wanted! biore nose strips... weird shit... lol... but yea, she ended up buyin other crap... there was somethin that caught our eye tho... special razors for the bikini area? lol... they were intrigueing and i must say... tempting... lol... =X but yea, why would u really need a specific razor for that shit? lol... i don't wanna kno... then there was this watch wit the powerpuff girls on it... u could like change the faces... i wanted it!!! but yea... didnt' buy it... lol. all good tho. had fun acting like idiots in target. as usual... tomorrow? i think it might be a busy day... we'll see... call me up if u're interested in a journey to possibly the great mall/valleyfair for some hardcore shopping... lol... not really, but yea... =P

by the way... the lil thing on the bottom of every post that says "no one loves me [0]"... when u click it, it opens up a window for my commenting shit... so start commenting... =P that is all.

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills, and listening to repetitive electronic music" - Nintendo, 1989

*giggle* yes, anson, that was in ur profile... and yes, i've seen it before on sum rave site... it was on a tshirt. but still good ish.

today [tuesday], u kno what i did? lol. yea, i kicked it wit crys. how did u ever guess?!?! anywho... she came by a lil while after i got home from work. my mom bitched bout how i don't eat the food she buys or whatever. *shrugz* anyway, crys and i decided to eat at pasta pomodoro... bomb ass pasta man... we had a fuckin full course meal... appetizer, main, and dessert... we paid bout $15 each... all worth it man... yum. the hostess kept lookin at my food and us whenever she passed by... weirdo... after eating, we decided to go to stonestown. i decided to rock my white bandanna wit my black beanie hat... cuz i don't like gettin that print on my forehead... anyway, looked coo to me. when i opened the door to the mall, this dood helped open it and said, "Nice hat." yea, that was umm... interesting. haha... then we went inside... walked around a bit... then at mr.rags. yes, another interesting event at a mr.rags. so me and crys walk in jus lookin at the clothes as usual... then we notice the girls that work there... they were jus choppin it up like no one was in the store... talkin bout smokin... and yea... bein wit a girl? cuz i heard, "yea, she was bout to go down..." and crys heard, "yea, she woke up first. then i woke up cuz of her." and i jus looked at crys... and kept on walking... lol... but yea, they jus kept talkin! "i'm gonna go buy some weed tonight. i gotta smoke." or somethin like that... then one girl said, "i'm goin to faith this weekend." Faith is a gay/lesbian club in frisco. o_O so yes, everything was clear. we had a pair of lesbian weed smokers present. lol. funny shit to hear tho. and that was all that's interesting for the night... hehe... *runs off like a monkey* hahaha... crys...

is it gone?
or is it true that i'm just assuming
that our hearts will never beat as one?
cuz it's so hard for me to forget
all the plans and thoughts that we said...

hey, it's me again
you know, i'm not much of a talker
but i just wanted to let you know
that i think about you every day
deep in my heart i still believe
that there'll be a time
when we're together again
i love you and i miss you...

- Memories by 3T

not the greatest song... but yea... if u want a good 3T song, get Anything. =P

tell me why it hurts
when we still love each other...

"As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven,it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape."
- by Mike

tru, don't u agree? i do...

and one more thing... there was this cute girl that works at mr. rags in serramonte.. i hella liked her hat. she was cute. crys thought so. lol... "kay, i'm done looking." at clothes or her, crys? lol! she was hella cheesin at us... makes u wonder. o_O? *nudge nudge crys* lol! if i swung the other direction, i'd jock, so i understand. =P yesss, now i'll leave u alone... haha...

oh yea! i forgot to talk bout the funniest part of tonight. when we pulled up into the jollibees parking lot for the second time today, there was a group of 3 flip doods next to their cars... they looked like they were in their 20s or so... up there. they watched us as we parked... one said hi to me when i got out of the car... then he said... "you look familiar. *thinks* you jennifer?" then i jus laugh and say, "no." at the same time one of the other guy laughs and like spits his drink out... weirdos... so we go inside and get our pies... and jus our luck, it was the same chick that helped us a few hours before. d'oh! lol... so we were jus laughing... then as we were leaving, the same old flip fobs were still there... two of them were talkin to each other in tagalog. one said to ask if i was filipina and whatever... but he said it in tagalog. so jus to suprise them i said, "yes, i am." and kept on walking. oh man...

one guy: oh really? wow.
me: *walking away*
one guy: can i get your number then?!?
me: no *laughs*

then the other guy that was talkin wit him decides to go on the driver's side of crys's car and ask me again for my number... lol... oh man... "NO!" crys closes the door. turn up the volume on the radio. laugh hella loud forever. and we drive off into the night. LOL... oh the good times and memories i'll have wit my best buddy crys-tal. =]

last night [monday night], crys and i did the usual... after i got off from work, she came and picked me up. we ate at jollibees.. hehehe... i bought a cool shirt from first step... [pictured at the left] crys bought some cool ass shoes... old school adidas lookin ones... =] good choice... then chris called to see if we wanted to do somethin... so we went over to his house and jus to our luck he wasn't home yet... and oMg! it was so fuckin foggy... it was crazy! lol... huh, crys? finally chris came home and the 3 of us went to in n out... hehe... jus chilled for a while and dropped him back off at home... then home we went...

tonight was odd tho. drama. chris called to see if i wanted to go to the movies wit him and his friends. i told him that i was gonna go eat and what not wit crys and to call back when his plans are more cleared out... crys picked me up a lil after 6 cuz there was a misunderstanding bout what time i got off from work. woops! but i got to take a nap. all good. then we went to jollibees again... then we went to serramonte to get some stuff from bath n body works. met up wit chris for like a few minutes... drama crap erupted... blah blah blah... thanx crys for bein there for me. as always. ended the night by goin back to jollibees to get a banana langka pie... Mmm... hehe...

and here i am... bored off my ass... someone send me an interesting e-mail or something...

If I had shown what you really meant to me
Maybe then you'd still be apart of me
I was wrong not to let you know
This feeling that's hard for me to show

Since you've gone I've always been alone
Feeling down and sorry for myself
I look at your picture and there I find
I won't make it through another rain
Without your sunshine

I need you back
I need you here to guide me
Please come back
You're the only one who's ever loved me
I need you back
Let's start all over again
Share the love you had for me then

Since I've said what I came here to say
Guess I'd better be going on my way
But before I go just gotta let you know
You're the only one who can make me happy again

- I Need You Back by Lea Salonga

just a good song that u should dL... no relevance to my life. so don't start thinking.

The Metropolis 2002 Pics:

my pepsi personality challenge results:
Pepsi has your name written all over it. You're a confident leader, full of energy and life. You're never afraid to follow your dreams and ambitions.
You also have an unpredictable nature. You make bold and fearless decisions in your life that others admire and respect.
Pepsi One fits you like a glove. You are viewed by friends as an intellectual and a trendsetter. You go out of your way to learn about new music, fashion, and trends.
There's a brainy side of you too. You often pull interesting facts out of your hat and stun people with your worldliness. The same goes for your impeccable taste in music.

Pepsi Twist

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
<º>


LOL! oh yesss... i am all powerful baby... u will perish.

supposedly it says that anson was rollin in my metropolis entry. i currently can't see where.. but yes, i shall officially retract that statement if u see it. anson was not rollin. i repeat, anson was not on e. the end. =P alrite, statement found. problem corrected. situation resolved. hehe

since my mama left me at home right now cuz she was gettin pissed that i was laggin to get ready... so yea, hopefully she'll be back soon... oh yea, so i'll tell u bout metro

well, taylor picked me up at around 6. we got to 3com hella quick cuz it's only 5 miles away from my house... so yea, we got in at 6:30 and started goin to the rooms... met up wit pat for a lil bit and he chilled wit us for a while. oh yea, us is taylor, his girl regina, his friend gian, and of course me. so we hella walked around and shit... but i was jus not feelin it. the sun was still out and everything... i couldn't even get into the music... plus... the situation was jus awkward in a way. taylor and his gf. eh... patrick who i haven't really known for that long... i jus wasn't comfortable... so i was hella thinkin bout leaving. i called crystal and everything... i decided that i'll give it a lil time to get better... which it did later. i split off from taylor and those folks and jus walked around wit pat. still nothin goin for me. then anson came, the prom date... hehe... i met up wit him but he was wit all these serra padre folk so i decided to walk off again wit patrick... then i called up anson and told him my situation with wanting to leave and all... so he came and rescued me. patrick went off somewhere and dropped. i stayed wit anson for quite a while. went from room to room... i actually started dancin and shit. =] had some fun with his digital camera. i took a pic wit some hella random ass guy in a yellow shirt. considered talking to him more, but oh well. hehe... anson was rollin. we had some fun fuckin the speaker... oMg. the bass... it jus rocks me so hard... love it. anywayz, anson would go up to hella exed out people, mostly girls, and work his vicks inhaler... hella funny... got pics wit them and ish... fun stuff. then chris came at around 9:30 i think... so i decided that i should let anson free to have his own fun cuz i kno he would be better off on his own. chris came wit peter [his best friend and bday boy that day]. he had a few other friends there too. if only i remembered names... d'oh! oh wellz... i met hella people. so sue me. =P oh yea, taylor and them liked the hard shit type of music... and i'm not into that really. anson was into pretty much the same shit as i was so it was coo to kick it wit him. and chris and them are into the drum n bass/jungle/hip hop ish... and that was pretty coo too cuz i can get into that. anywayz, so i was in the jungle room for majority of the time i think... couldn't really dance to it tho. =\ but i was happy to go into the local trance and ish rooms... i liked those... oh yeaaaaaaaa... hahaha... chris and peter were rollin man... i was watchin over them cuz they didn't kno where to go and shit. i also was the "lucky" one to hold all their stuff in my bag. chris was hella leanin on me and shit... so funny... he kept e-talkin... HELLA talkin... omg... peter was doin it too... LOL... bein the only sober one was alrite... hehe... everyone i knew there was rollin! while i was wit anson, my cousin saw me! lol. he was yelling, "what are you doing here?!?!" funny guy. i saw his ex/gf? there too. iono if they're back together so yea. anywayz. we lost peter after a while. then found taylor and them again. but never saw anson or pat again. *shrugz* who knows where they went off to. so chris and i jus walked around the booths and shit. he bought me a tyte ass photon strobe. it blinks blue and yellow. cool man. too bad the bboys peter and chris missed a lot of the bboyin goin on earlier. there were circles in every room... too bad guys... hehe... chris and i went on a mission to find a garbage can cua he didn't wanna jus throw his water bottle on the ground? cuz it would make a difference right? lol... that took us hella long! i swear there was only one in the whole freakin place... u kno what kinda sucked tho. the thing wasn't even in 3com. it was in the parking lot. lol. oh wellz, still was coo. watched black eyed peas when we found everyone again. but that was at the end of the night. the whole thing ended at 2, but we thought that maybe it'd be better to wait a lil while to let traffic go... but that was a bad idea... lol. jus meant there was more traffic for us to get out of. good job, huh? i didn't get home until 3. my mom was hella coo bout it tho. so maybe she'll let me go to another one! wOo WoO. i'm jus not gonna be a candy bracelet wearing, pacifier sucking, pigtail sporting, visor boppin raver kid. hell nah. not my thing. plus they look like fruits anyway. i'll leave wearin all that for halloween. right crys? haha... yup yup! alrite, i think thas all. so i'll jus post more maybe when i get some pics up and ready to go. so peace out man! where's my mom?!?!

metropolis... fun times... seemed like all was over for me in the beginning... then the sun startin setting... and things got better... =] so yup, not a waste off my money at all. =D definitely won't be my last rave. i can assure u that. i'll post more details later... but i'll leave u now with a convo that came up with like every person i met:

person: "u rollin?"
me: "nah."
response 1: "oh furealz, u don't kno what u're missing."
or
response 2: "u fureal? u hella seem like u are!"
me: "WTF?!?! LOL. yea, that's me naturally." =P

something makes me wish that i was leaving for irvine tomorrow... i'm jus stressin bout so much crap, it's not even cool... i don't kno what to do... i miss hella people... and i kno i'm jus gonna miss them more... blah blah blah... jus so confused... even to the point where things i used to enjoy just don't do it for me anymore... like this blog for instance... i don't care anymore... i don't care enough to design a new site... i don't care enough to call people... then again, who'd i call? and i kno i have more friends than jus crystal... but where are u all? *shrugz* i wish life were more simple and carefree... my life may seem like it, but it's not... aiya... i'm done

What's Your Love Style?

san jo was so fun! hehe... spent some time wit my lil cousin... like our late nights online and watching movies... until 4am... lol! oh yea, i have a kid now... his name's aj... i'll show u a pic of him one day. lol k, before u panic, it's only a monkey that i got at build-a-bear. =P to summarize my weekend: valleyfair 3 times, great mall 2 times, oakridge 1 time, in n out, jack in the box, autofest. the end. lol. only thing that sucked is that my mom got mad at me cuz i got home at 8:20? yea, she says that it's too late for me to be coming home from san jo... yea, cuz it's only straight on the freeway and the sun was still out, right? of course... i think i'm grounded... *shrugz* whatever... worth it. =P

Extreme Autofest 2002

i'm spending time in san jo... i'll blog all bout it when i get home tomorrow... well, today, depending on how u look at it... hehe

i found my beanie! wOo...

ah work... that was an interesting way to spend a nice summer afternoon... i played pictionary for like an hour... i really didn't have to do crap... lol but all in good fun and stuff. i decided that maybe i'll be a teacher. i kinda wanna be a hs teacher or something... help the community in my own way... AHH!!! BEANER MUSTANG JUS DROVE UP THE STREET!! eck... anyway, lol... AHH!!! MATRIX!!! that's ugly... oh yea, add that to the list... anyway, back to what i was saying.. 2.5 hours of playing... hehe... and gettin paid for it. oh yea! lol.. from now on tho, it's gonna be 3 hours cuz i should go in at 2 to uMm... help "set up." hahaha... and i gotta work on my spanish skills... kids be talkin to me in spanish thinkin i understand them... lol and one poor filipino kid... she seems like she's straight from the PI...

has anyone else noticed that one month of our summer is gone? =\

OMG OMG!!! U KNOW WHAT TODAY IS?!?!?! my first day of work since last summer... hehehe... work? yes. work. i don't need your sarcasm, fawker! i am not that lazy... okay, who am i fooling?!?! hahahaha... alrite, moving on... and yes, i'm driving to work even though it's like 6 blocks away... but that's uphill fool... i'll walk tomorrow maybe...

i watched lilo & stitch again last night... hehe... the movie still rocks! =] it was a fun night indeed.

u kno... i make this promise to each and every person that comes into my life... no matter what happens between us... hatred, love, etc... anything, i'll always be here for you if u need me... even if we stop talking and u jus bust in out of the cuts... i'll still listen... i promise.

well, this is the mp3 ho3 signin out... have a nice day guys... it's beautiful outside... enjoy it =]