From chantal's bLog even tho she found it somewhere else. =P but yes... how better to sum up how i feel...

"you know, inspite of everything, i still love him. and you know, i'd like nothing more than to love him and be here for him, all his life, if he'd let me. for all the problems and heartaches of coupledom, i'd still choose it anyday over being single. its lonely being like this, wishing that you still mattered to someone even when you dont have to mean that much. maybe im cynical most days because i think i can brainwash myself into believing i'm over him and am better off without him and maybe its probably just my way of dealing and coping with all these. i've never felt emptier. it's really weird but when you think about it, every relationship you've had with someone you love is worth rescuscitating. even God doesnt give up on us, crazy and undeserving lot that we are..."