i'm having this horrible LONELY feeling in my heart... it's so bad that i feel like my body is breaking down slowly... it's not even that i miss jus one person... it's like i can't even identify what it is that is making me feel this way... everything in my life is going down once again... school is going downhill... because of that, i might jus lose the friends that i have made down here... i feel like i'm losing touch with the one i love... i don't even think i can say that i have a best friend anymore cuz i've separated myself from everyone to the point that it's jus a hopeless matter... overall, i'm just FUCKIN depressed... yes, i'm so depressed that it needed an obscenity just to show how deep of a degree my depression has reached...

i miss romance. i miss suprises. i miss spontanaity. i miss conversations on the phone that would go on for hours with barely even a moment of silence. i miss being more than just what seems like a friend. i don't like this routine that we seem to be doing over and over. i miss how u used to text me out of no where just to tell me the sweetest things to make me smile. i miss getting the emails or the phone calls just saying all the things i wish for. i miss feeling special. i miss being ur all. i miss being ur #1. i miss u, but how u were before when things were new. in a lil more than a month, it'll be our anniversary... the day, two years ago, we became one. i kno u're still that same person i fell in love with, but i jus wish i could see it... i believe that we're really meant to be... but will we reach our forever? i can only hope and dream...