say it with me now...
S-E-M-I FOOOORRRRMAL!
S-E-M-I FOOOORRRRMAL!

hehe... yes, tomorrow night is the annual kaba semi formal! wOo... i'm excited. i jus hope that chris can get his ticket in time, but i'm sure he will. wOo... *does a lil dance* =P hopefully, it'll be fun... well, time to go eat dorm food. wish me luck. =\

I've been wondering about the complexity
Of what we have it shouldn't be
More
Just can't see
More

You're physically in this, but how could we tell
If we was meant to be in bliss if you're not mentally as well?
This energy you're sending me is tricky as hell
Usually it's like a 50/50, we could take a L
Before we start things, at this point being apart brings
The feeling of somebody plucking at your heart strings
I know it probably shouldn't feel like this
But any other [man] I see is in your likeness
It's from your cheekbones
To your lips, to your curves, to your deep moans
To that walk, to your words
You love feeling like a breakdown on the verge
First we on good terms, then you on my last nerves
Got my back just aching, my shoes is all tight
It's too complex when we choose to do it right
It's wrong, one minute you a soldier strong
Then you trying a route talking about it's over and gone

...
Eyes racing back and forth listening to Chaka Khan
Trying to figure the cause why you always acting off
like I'm slacking off
Maybe our signal's getting crossed
For the case Love, you feel like you making a waste of
Your precious time you need to get a taste of
Some space to breathe, a moment as friends
We should've felt ourselves slipping into it again
Cuz it's like off and on, on and off
Passion, lost and found, found and lost
Clashing, asking for nothing but understanding
Your hearts made of glass, use care when handling
[Boi], all in all I never leave you stranded
Cuz my respect you commanded, you figure it out

I used to come into the party and stand around
Cuz I was kinda too shy to really get down
I used to play the corner and watch the scene
Deep down knowing I wanted to find me a [king]
And I could feel that in my stomach and up in my chest
Because I knew a lot of [men], and some was fresh
But then I found you [boi], and just like me
You had a heart that was yearning to be set free
Now listen, see you and me we need to take the time
To erase any doubt that's inside your mind
It's not a mountain that I'm ever too tired to climb
And who's counting, but I know at least a thousand times
I let you know I'm here for you, care for you, and confide in you
Break bread, share with you, and provide for you
And that's full time, it's no 9 to 5 with you
That's why I'm trying to work it out with you, it's gonna work
- the roots feat. jill scott - "complexity"

How to Break Dance Video Hot break dancing moves!
"I even won over my current girlfriend with the moves provided within your video. Thank you."
oh yesss... this should be everyone's reasoning when buying this video... =P sheesh... hahaha...

who's been awake for pretty much 24 hours??? i have!!! oh my freakin gawd... i don't feel so good... =\ when i wanted to sleep, i couldn't cuz there was too much stuff on my mind... so i spent all that time working on an essay on and off... fun stuff, huh?... i'm so gonna pass out after i turn this shit in... BLAH!

i really needed to hear this...

i D: do u love him?
angel x FLaiR: yes
i D: does he love u?
angel x FLaiR: i hope so
i D: if he does, then love him too
i D: thats all there is to it
i D: if there's love, then u can work anything out
angel x FLaiR: thanx.
angel x FLaiR: =*]
angel x FLaiR: i needed to hear that
i D: i wish someone would tell my g/f that
angel x FLaiR: hopefully, she'll remember

it's gotta be right. it has to be. i hope it is.

i wanna kno why this feels so right
i wanna kno why u hold me tight
each and every night, it keeps me up all night
thinkin bout the things i like
can't believe u're in my life
i wanna kno why u're the one
the things that they should have u've already done
god sent u straight to me
u make me wanna sing...

but when u look at me, do u see ur wife?
can u picture us lovin each other for life?
are u playin the role, jus like the rest?
these are the questions that i ask myself
if another should come who's finer than me
and she wanna take ur love away, would u leave?
baby please answer these questions

could this be my whole fantasy
maybe u could jus be too good for me
if i don't wake then i won't see
cuz if i'm not the one u met, then who is in me
in the midst of the tears how come
i love u more and more and more?
seems like these questions keep me here with u

but when u look at me, do u see ur wife?
can u picture us lovin each other for life?
are u playin the role, jus like the rest?
these are the questions that i ask myself
if another should come who's finer than me
and she wanna take ur love away, would u leave?
baby please answer these questions

if u really wanna be with me,
then i'll say, i love u endlessly
one thing that i really wanna know
will this end or will this grow?
and now if u really be wanna be with me
i'll love u endlessly
one thing that i really wanna know
will this end or will this grow
- blaque - "questions"

...i love you...

alright... adrienne is having one of those extremely lonely feelings again. though, it'll probably only last a couple of hours, but it still lingers... the roommate has a friend over, so she's gonna be out and about, and the cousin is going out tonight for a lil while with his friend. MAN! where are my friends??? oh yea, i forgot... i'm anti-social. well, HELLO WORLD!!! HERE I AM. freakin aye... i spend a lot of my time alone in my room listening to music. okay, it's my fault that i'm like this, but oh well... i'll get over it soon. probably. hopefully. BLAH! hahahaha... ok, i'm over it. for now. gbye.

so i'm sick. my throat hurts like hell. i shake every time i have to swallow cuz i'm scared. i'm in pain. blah. so, yea, i have to deal with getting better. also, last night, i discovered that my wisdom teeth are growing in... not good. i have to find out if they need to be pulled out. most likely, they'll have to be. blah #2. and for the final and most brutal blow all in one day... i check the mail to find this waiting for me...

"Here's your $20 for the flowers. I don't want it. It doesn't mean anything to me now. You could have given it to me last Friday if you really wanted to.

How dare you put me in the same category as your friends!! I didn't think that I should be competing with your so-called friends. Always remember this - I'm the only one who feed you, clothes you and work my ass off to put you in school. So don't give me that bullshit about balancing your time between me and your stupid friends. Don't do me any favors. I really don't care anymore where you sleep or with whom. I have passed that stage. You're an adult now and you're responsible for your own actions. If you want to be used, that's your problem. I hope he gave you the attention you needed this Valentine's Day."

alrighty... she has another 3-4 sentences about grades and what not, but those weren't really interesting. so this is from the wonderful woman i have grown up calling mom. please take note of the grammatical errors, use of obscenities, and retarded assumptions. where to begin? so, i left her roses and a letter at the house. i assumed that it would get better cuz of that. i told her my side of the story that i wanted to be able to spend time with my friends and with her. but, being that she was mad, i didn't wanna go over there and waste precious bay area time being with the angry woman. though, thinking back, maybe i should have jus stuck thru it but whatever now. my aunt told me not to, so i took her word for it. well, so that's how things are now... i feel like crap. my mom is a place your own choice of words here. BLAH #3! freakin aye... she assumes that i'm the worst person in the world. u swear. i'm an angel compared to probably u, the person reading this right now. =P anywho... i need comments on this. am i at fault here? i went up there to suprise her. i should've jus told her that i wasn't going at all... dammit... oh well... we'll see what develops. what am i to do now? nothing, i guess. and u kno what. my friends and bf do hold a higher if not the same place as my mom. iono... whatever... i'm a lil worried that she reads this. u think? argh. i'm all paranoid.. freakin aye! i'm spent. hahaha... that american idol show... funny stuff.... =P gbye u.

we're under attack!!! hahaha...

=] i'm a dork. a bored dork. well, i'm still feeling a lil lazy to tell u about my weekend, but i might as well attempt to summarize it all. my mom is/was still mad at me. chris got mad at me cuz of who i rode wit to and from frisco, but all is good now. i love him jus as much as i ever did. i thought before that the weekend was a complete waste, but now that i think bout it, it was good cuz i got to spend it all wit chris. =] except for the getting sick part. oh well, comes wit the territory. it's funny cuz pete got chris sick, and chris got me sick. =P hopefully, it isn't that bad cuz it's only a sore throat right now, and i've been taking medicine for it already. *crosses fingers*

also, a lil side note. there's this girl, deanna, that i used to think was completely annoying and what not. cuz she was always happy, perky, and u kno all that stuff. but over the past few interactions with her, i've realized what a nice person she is. she's not always perky, but does like to look at the brighter sides of things. she's coo to me now. i'm glad that i got to kno her better. i really am. i hate having misconceptions of people. that's why i wish more people would get to kno me so i could get to kno them too down here... oh well... =P

On a perfect day
I know that I can count on you
When that's not possible
Tell me, can you weather the storm
Cause I need somebody who will stand by me
Through the good times and bad times
[He] will always, always be right there

Sunny days, everybody loves them
Tell me
Can you stand the rain?
Storms will come
This we know for sure
Can you stand the rain?

Love unconditional
I'm not asking this of you
We've got to make it last
I'll do whatever needs to be done
Cause I need somebody who will stand by me
Through the good times and bad times
[He] will always, always be right there

Sunny days, everybody loves them
Tell me
Can you stand the rain?
Storms will come
This we know for sure
Can you stand the rain?

Can you stand the rain?
No pressure, no pressure from me baby
Cause I want you
And I need you
And I love you
Will you be there for me
Can you stand the rain?

New Edition - Can You Stand the Rain

... i love you chris =] ...

What Do You Wear to Bed?

Brought to you by Faytrial

soOo... valentine's day, huh? well, guess what i did!!! i left thursday night and rode on up to the bay area to suprise my mom and the bf. =D sweet, huh? haha... the ride wasn't that bad. i guess... but yea, we thought we saw a ufo and ish... funny stuff. so we got there around 2am and stuff. i took bart wit deanna later to get to daly city. my friend picked us up in his lil ass crx, but it was all good cuz we somehow fit ourselves in there. right after getting picked up, we stopped by where chris, pete, and jeff were eating jus to say hi. pete kept me well informed of where chris was at. hehe... so yea, i suprised chris. it was great! big smiles =D. so yea, after that, my friend dropped me and deanna at home where my car was nicely waiting for me to take it out. YAY CAR! lol... so yea, we get into my car and go to my mom's work. she wasn't at her desk so i jus sat in her chair and waited. it was funny cuz she walked in like, "wtf?" haha... cuz she saw deanna first and then me. so i talked to her for a lil bit. i told her that i was staying at deanna's that night and that i'd be back later the next day. ;] so yes yes, here i am sunday. last night, i was supposed to go home, but it was hella raining and pretty late, so i called my mom to ask if i should come home or jus wait until today. she was mad. i don't kno why tho... grr... so yea, still haven't gone home, but i will later today probably. =\ poo on my mom... anyway, i guess that's all for now... happy late valentine's to everyone! =]

5000 visitors!!! woO. =P

Kinky Toys for the Adventurous Mind

why dear god why is this in my SCHOOL newspaper?!?!?! jeezus...

adrienne has bought herself a new backpack! woo woo! go shawty! it's ur birthday! =P

alright, let's see... what to talk about today. well, this weekend was great. =] as all the days that i spend with chris are. we didn't really do much, except on friday night. friday afternoon, chris and peter arrived. right after they arrived, they put their stuff in their respective rooms and got ready, or waited for the other people to get ready. friday was climax night. clubbing [link goes to the flyer so u can see what party it was =P ]. joy. hehe... anyway, that's the whole reason those two came down basically. peter is a promoter for climax and chris came to support his best friend. so yea, we were all invited to the fun. jin da mc was scheduled to appear, and i was kinda looking forward to seeing him perform. so we finally all get ready. i had some trouble deciding what to wear tho cuz i didn't kno whether to dress like a girl [skirt, nice top] or like adrienne. i went as adrienne. =] so yea, peter and deanna went in one car with 2 other girls, and chris and i rode with two guys and one other girl. the ride was longggg... freakin socal traffic even after 7. sheesh... well, we arrived at the club in hollywood at around 8:30 [hollywood athletic club]. peter was late, but o well... we all had to wait in line forever... i don't think we got in until 10:00. so once we were in, we basically had to stay in. i got to dance with my sexy bboy. there was a group of hella coo bboys there. they performed on stage too, vip style. [bahm tribe] chris talked to them and got their contact info. who knows... the disciples of rhythm may battle them one day... [soon. ;] ] so yes, danced and chilled. $3 cup of soda. bajeezus... so jin finally gets up to perform, and guess what happens! there were technical shit and what not. he performed like 2 songs, and that was it. also, right after he walked off stage, they declared the club closed cuz of reasons that i didn't learn until later. turns out that there were too many fights or something. sheesh. so yes, it closed early. i think around 1:30. it was fun overall tho. chris and i felt a lil bad for the guy that was driving us. he was coo tho. fun times. =] and i got another autograph from jin. hehe... it for me and chris. i'll tell u exactly what it says later. hehe...

saturday was chill day. we didn't really do anything. we woke up around 12 or 1 and ate with deanna, pete, and katrina at del taco. i prefer taco bell. anywho, after eating, those three went to look at apartments. yea, i thought about living with them... still not sure... anyway, chris and i jus hung around in my room on the computer or taking a nap. later that night, we ordered pizzas and had a lil picnic in my room. i felt bad that my roommate had to go to the study room to study, but at least she was able to get her work done. [she was here the whole weekend.] over pizza, the 4 of us talked bout those weird riddles that hella make u think and crap. like the one bout the guy hanging from the ceiling who committed suicide with a puddle of water underneath him. how did he die? thing. yea... a few of those... that's actually the second time we ordered pizza and jus talked... maybe it should be tradition. haha... =P and that was that day...

sunday, chris and i planned to wake up early so he could get ready and everything, but we didn't wake up until the last minute when pete called us. we got ready in like 20 minutes, and chris packed up. we jus stayed in the room for a lil bit while the taxi was on its way. the taxi arrived at 10am, and off peter and chris went, back home to the bay. =[ *sigh* but yea, i'm trying to go up this weekend, but i'm having a hard time finding a ride there. GrRr... we'll see.

i love u chris!!!

You're fire! In general you're not a mean person but you can be very quick tempered, and boy, WHAT A TEMPER YOU CAN HAVE. You are angered very easily and you sometimes have anti-social habits.
What element are you?

chris was here! chris was here! chris was here! =] yes yes, he spent the weekend down here... i'll tell u more later... but sadly, chris is no longer here... =[ i'll see him soon... i kno it. =D

i have officially been with my wonderful chris for a year. =D yay! i love you chris from now till forever. hehe... a whole 12 months. shut up all u who say that it's only 4 months. poo on u guys. it's 8 months together, 8 apart, and 4 together again. through the greatest strife and the longest distance, we've made it thru it all. i love you chris so much. u jus don't even kno the extent of it. to u, i give my world. happy anniversary sexy.

ps. - do u find it odd that this should occur on the one year since we broke up? heh... weird... so i guess our "real" anniversary will still be on june 7th. hehe... *shrugz* it's complicated. i love him all the more. haha... =P

today, i have grown tired of having a roommate. okok, maybe not having a roommate, but having to see one person 24 hours a fuckin freakin day and almost 7 fuckin freakin days a week. yea, she's nice, but fuckin freakin aye... i want some alone time in my room. is that too much to ask!?!? and i can't jus ask her to get the fuck freak out of the room for a lil while cuz it's her room too. shit sHoOot... i want time when i can jus lounge out with my music up and loud jus thinking or whatever... AHHH... it's driving me insane... last quarter, i didn't mind too much cuz i only saw her like 3 days a week... now it's jus like the girl never leaves... i swear... ALONE TIME. i need it so desperately... i miss having a room to myself... man... i miss being at home. i NEED to go back to the bay soon... =\ *sigh* going insane i tell u. i've been asking her if she's goin home this weekend and of course, when i really want her to leave, she's not going to. FREAKIN AYE. how the hell will i live next year if i have to live with another roommate? well, actually, that'll be better cuz it'd be an apartment and not jus one room... and i'll have my car so i can get away if i need to. but seriously, jus like a day to myself, that's all i fuckin freakin ask. AHHH... plus, she may be nice and all, but damn she does have her annoying moments... *sighs again* oh well, what can i do? absolutely fuckin freakin nothing.

EDITED: cuz it was jus too harsh...

*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.
What pisses you off?
Created by ptocheia

look! diff background color! lol... oh yea, i added a subscription thing to my bLog. the subscription will keep u updated on when i post somethin new on my site. =] cool beans indeed.

i hate what u're doing to her. why must u break her down every chance u get? she's giving u her all, everything that is tangible and intangible. she loves u with all her heart. can't u see??? can't you see how she cries everyday because of u? can't u see how ur words affect her? u've taken advantage of ur power over her. u kno how to manipulate her feelings. she may just be a star to u, but she's my moon. i love this girl and maybe inside that cold exterior, u love her too. but please, don't let her heart jus slip into a coma. she needs you now. she needs u to be honest. she needs u to hold out ur hand and help her up. pull her out of this dark hole that u've buried her in. don't fuckin hurt this girl. cuz u kno what, u'll get it back 3-fold. she's done her share of shit, but please, can u honestly say that she deserves all u do to her? no, she deserves better than that and maybe even better than u. but u're the one her heart's set on. she wants to be with you. don't break her heart anymore... pick up the pieces and put them where they should be. either hold her heart and cherish it or give it back. don't stomp on it. i'm an outsider to ur situation, but i kno how she feels. she's breaking down. i don't wanna lose her spirit. jus please... think and do what's right. she deserves the truth. she deserves the best. - 2: CnD-

happy chinese new year everyone! =]